More Treachery from the HLQ
by Cornelius Merryheart, exclusive for the GGG
We are all used to the dirty schemes and general unpleasantness that emanates from House LiQuan (HLQ). But this week they have outdone themselves and proved once again that they don't care about lives or properties, alliances or treaties, honor or integrity. The only thing that matters to House LiQuan is House LiQuan, and they will stop at nothing to further their ambitions.
The first incident happened in the Dolphinus System. The HLQ had already asked the Triumvirate to make an exception to the Inner Empire claiming agreement so they could claim Dolphinus not for the Commonwealth but for themselves. Permission was denied but that didn't mean much to House LiQuan. They just went ahead and incited the local population to claim the system for the HLQ, a claim that despite representing just a vocal minority from planet Frolic (total population is over 2,500,000 humans, the civilian claim is just from 25,000 people) is large enough to topple the current claim (10,000 troops). Representatives from House LiQuan, cynically, say it's not their fault the locals prefer them to the Commonwealth, conveniently ignoring that it was the recent Demetrius and Jessica LiQuan visit to Frolic that triggered this new claim and shamelessly pretending that Aldahan LiQuan never threatened to do exactly that, stir local populations against other members of the Commonwealth.
The second incident happened in the Mizam System. The HLQ attacked and destroyed a whole celestial body, an asteroid called Ruby, and the Imperial Services (IMP) installations that had been there for years. Around 300 lives were lost and the material damage is estimated to surpass 2,000,000 MUs. Aldahan LiQuan's excuse that he was just waging war against the Dewiek Elder Nation (DEN) is hard to believe, as there were no DEN assets in Ruby and hardly any DEN presence in the system. Mizam, despite being claimed in the name of the DEN, has been controlled by the Konstantin family for many years, since the DEN offered the system as a sanctuary to the Dominion (DOM), which are now part of the IMP. Even if we were to believe that the HLQ were completely ignorant of the IMP presence in the system, how to justify the deliberate destruction of a whole celestial body (in the words of Aldahan LiQuan, "a ripe target for the show of force") without even checking if any citizens of the Empire could be injured in the process?
Now, with a spurious system claim and an attack against the Imperial Services, the HLQ have clearly put themselves in a very bad position. They obviously don't care for the unity of the Commonwealth or for the well being of the Empire. If these matters are treated properly, the HLQ should be forced to make reparations or suffer dire consequences. They should ensure that the Dolphinus System is claimed in the name of the Commonwealth, either by convincing the population of Frolic to withdraw or amend their civilian claim or by placing enough trained troops in the system to successfully claim it for the Commonwealth. They should issue a public apology to the IMP, fully reimburse them for their losses in the Mizam System, and also promise to refrain from further actions that may harm any signatory of the Peace Accord. If the HLQ are unable or unwilling to comply, or if they perform this kind of actions again, they should simply be expelled from the Commonwealth and from the Inner Empire.
The response to the LiQuan treacheries should be swift and forceful. But it should also be conducted legally and with the best interests of the Empire and the Commonwealth in mind. Rushing into a vengeful war against the HLQ could be not only the worst possible reaction but also exactly the kind of reaction the HLQ were hoping to get. They have proved again and again that they don't care for a unified Empire and that they care even less for a unified Commonwealth. Let's not help them destroy what we worked so hard to achieve.
-o-
The Chicken from Yank
by Ringo Baxter, exclusive for the GGG
This is another story I heard from an IND merchant during one of my trips to Mobile Bay. I'm not sure if it really happened but I found it amusing anyway. Take it as a work of imagination or as piece of popular culture if you want.
Some time last year a DTR bureaucrat was ordering lunch at one of the many restaurants you can find in Solo. He had a peculiar request: "I want a roasted whole chicken, but it has to be a chicken from Yank." Ten minutes later, the waiter brought his dish. The bureaucrat looked at the chicken, looked at his index finger, inserted his index finger into the chicken's butthole, pulled it out, looked at his finger again, then pronounced: "This chicken is from Pegasus, I want a chicken from Yank." Ten minutes later, he got another chicken. He looked at the new chicken, looked at his index finger, inserted his index finger into the new chicken's butthole, pulled it out, looked at his finger again, then pronounced: "This chicken is from Dorn, I want a chicken from Yank." Ten minutes later, he got another chicken. He looked at the third chicken, looked at his index finger, inserted his index finger into the third chicken's butthole, pulled it out, looked at his finger again, then pronounced: "This chicken is from Fortoon, I want a chicken from Yank." This scene was repeated another few times when a very intoxicated Falconian, who had been watching everything from the bar, approached the DTR bureaucrat and said: "Excuze me, Zir, I've been drunkz for zeveral dayz now and there'z no wayz I can remember where I live, could you pleaze put your finger up my butt and tell me where I come from?"
-o-
